Reddit Captures Kony

KonyKony. (HAC)
Notorious Ugandan war criminal Joseph Kony has finally been caught, thanks to the efforts of internet sleuths on the website Reddit.

Inspired by the Invisible Children's "Kony 2012" campaign, Reddit users sprung into action to bring the bad man to justice. A new subreddit, /r/konyshots, was set up to coordinate efforts.

Working tirelessly for more than a year, the dedicated redditors sifted through hundreds of photographs of Kony and his adherents in the Lord's Resistance Army, analyzing them for clues, and attempting to match the surroundings to satellite footage from Google Earth.

Their efforts turned up thousands of dead ends, but the group was undeterred, even when things looked utterly hopeless.

"We weren't getting a lot of results initially, but our dedication to the mission just made our resolve even stronger," said user BACONBACONBACON, whose expert knowledge of African foliage made him a vital asset.

"We weren't in it for the fame, the upvotes, or the link karma."

The redditors scored a big break last week when the user jailbait_ogler noticed unusual markings on a tree in the background of a photo. Following that lead, the group was able pinpoint the exact location just a few days later, uncovering Kony's hideout in the process.

AllWomenAreEvil, the subreddit's moderator, contacted INTERPOL, which used Reddit's coordinates to track down Kony and a small team of Lord's Reistance Army soldiers. After an hourlong firefight with UN Security Forces, Kony finally surrendered and was taken into custody. He is currently awaiting trial at the International Criminal Court.

"Thanks to these dedicated internet gumshoes, the fire of evil has been extinguished from the African jungle," said President Obama in televised speech. "The world owes these fine young Redditors a debt of gratitude. And, as a Redditor myself, let me just say: NOT BAD!"

Despite the subreddit's newfound notoriety, members of the group are quick to downplay their role in the manhunt. "We weren't in it for the fame, the upvotes, or the link karma," said user rationalnarwhal. "We just wanted justice."

"It was bound to happen," claims DawkinsFan1337. "When you get a whole bunch of Redditors working together, the combined brainpower of the room is roughly equal to three really smart professionals who actually know what they're doing. Get enough Redditors together, and we can probably solve world hunger. It's just plain logic."