Inside The Odd And Hilarious Subculture of "Weird Usenet"
Instead of arguing about computer brands or sharing their vapid thoughts on the latest X-Files episode (you all know who you are), they share surreal burts of unusual ideas, theories that are funny not because of a conventional punchline, but because they fly in the face of what we think of as logic.
Yes, all the stellar fusions, all the stellar radiations, all the radiations , all, all of these are the consequences of the power struggle between the concentrated mass and the void of space which tries to dilute the mass and mass' trying to resist its dilution.! Celestial, eternal POWER STRUGGLE. You may call it Celestial Political Power struggle - explained by the BIG SUCK THEORY.
There's often a certain style to these posts, such as obvious misspellings or unusual capitalization. You've probably heard of Serdar_Argic, a famous Usenet spammer sending out small bits of paranoid drivel that sometimes come across like a zen koan. He might be considered the spiritual father to this stuff.
I'm pro-Weird Usenet, and I've gathered up some of my favorite examples of these postings.
I believe that the Earth's Spiritual Hierarchy is run by the Eshwar-Khanewale Masters in the spiritual city of Agam Des located in the Hindu Kush Mountains on the border between Pakistan and Afghanistan (as taught in Eckankar), and that THEY are instructing the Galactic Federation on the coming mass UFO landing operation.
HI MIKE ! YOUR ON A VM SYSTEM TOO ? COOL, ! I USE PSUVM (THE VM ON THE END MEANS IT IS VM TOO) AND I THINK ITS THE RADDEST COMPUTER ANYWHERE. AND YOU USE PSUVM TOO. WOW ! WE HAVE TO MEET SOMETIME. I CAN PLAY MY HELLFUCKS RECORD FOR YOU IT IS ULTRA-RAD !! BUT WHAT IS A KILL FILE. MAYBE YOU CAN MAIL ME YOURS IF ITS REALLY RAD. BUT YOU SAID ITS ON VM SO IT MUST BE RAD HUH. WELL I THINK ITS A REALLY GOOD IDEA TO WIPE OUT FLAMES. IS THIS SOME SECRET PLAN OR SOMETHING. I THINK IT WOULD BE C00L TO HAVE A SECRET PLAN THAT ONLY US METALHEADZ KNOW ABOUT. PLEASE TELL ME THE PLAN SO WE CAN GET RID OF THOSE MEANIES !!!!!- B1FF
Newman and Redford, Butch and Sundance.
Maughan and McNeilley,
defacation and urination.
Once together, never apart
in our thoughts.
Hail the excruciating,
and their little differences,
without which we could not tell them apart.
My posting was a "meta-troll", in which I posted something with a completely straight face in hopes that someone else would try to make it look like I was being sarcastic. I evilly manipulated Dana with my sociopathic charms into HAVING SOME FUN--whether Dana wanted to or not!
There are also "meta-meta-trolls", which are sort of complicated to explain (if they even exist--I might be lying about whether there is such a thing as a meta-meta-troll solely to get people to try posting one) and then there's "accidental trolling" and "self-trolling". Self-trolling probably will never occur in a group like sci.anthropology, though--it only happens in places where people are so clueless that they can confuse themselves, like alt.sex.
Can anyone think of myself as a third sex. Yes, I am expected to have. People often get used to me knowing these things and then a cover is placed over all of them. Along the side of the $$ are spent by (or at least for ) the girls. You can't settle the issue. It seems I've forgotten what it is, but I don't. I know about violence against women, and I really doubt they will ever join together into a large number of jokes. It showed Adam, just after being created. He has a modem and an autodial routine. He calls my number 1440 times a day. So I will conclude by saying that I can well understand that she might soon have the time, it makes sense, again, to get the gist of my argument, I was in that (though it's a Republican administration).
The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:
> Why is a cow?
And in response, thus spake the oracle:
As usual, your highly spiritual and metaphysically existential musings have turboed right over my Bort. What the Bort are you Borting abort?